Twisted Bliss
by Lady Loser
Summary: Lust. That's all it was for Jasper and I. Nothing more. I shifted my gaze from the ground, and looked into his eyes, telling myself that I was happily married. But I melted under his gaze, weak at the knees, "Jasper, I love you." J/B, E/B. Breaking Dawn.
1. New Feelings

_Hi.  
My name is Lady Loser._

_This is my first fic on the novel Twilight, so please no flames._

_I am a very big fan of B/E, but I'm also an even bigger fan of non cannon couples. In everything that I've seen, read, or wrote.  
So don't be too harsh on me._

**Disclaimer**: _I'm only putting one of these, because they get annoying to type up on every chapter. I do not own anything written or created by Stephenie Meyer. I'm not that skilled with writing._

* * *

As long as I have lived, life has thrown me countless twists and turns. I was sure that every girl experienced a shock or two in their teenage years, but no one could hold anything high enough to compare to my world. At seventeen years old, I got my first boyfriend who just so happened to be a vampire. At eighteen, I met my first best friend, who I later discovered was a werewolf. Just before I turned 19, I was married to my very first boyfriend and transformed into a beautiful vampire. Right after having my first and only child. Renesmee.

Not only had I married at the young age I swore to myself I would never do, I also became part of a dark world. I was now a mythical creature. A smile graced my lips, and I looked down to the cold ground I was sitting upon. Every myth that I had onced believed was far beyond proved wrong. I was once a small, clumsy, ungraceful, plain and ordinary girl; standing at the very bottom of the food chain. Prey. Absolutely feeble.

Now here I sit; beautiful, stunning, different, coordinated, and dangerous. I was the predator, and I was an unknown threat to humanity. Every human that crossed my path shoul count their blessings that I was born into this world with phenomenal control. My record was still as clean as Calisle's. Never had I preyed on a human. In fact, the burning thirst and internal lust for human blood was a dull pulse now.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in my fairly new world. The scent of my nearby family was the strongest, but I could still smell the warm blood of animals scurrying through the trees I was looking into. Elk, birds, rabbits, and... A mountain lion. I opened my eyes instantly, not bothering to rid my mouth of the tremendous flow of venom.

I didn't have to think before I was up on my feet and sprinting into the canopy of trees. Smaller animals fled in late reaction to my passing as I followed the sweet scent of my prey. It felt like my very first day as a vampire. I was barefoot, dressed in a skimpy, short dress. This time, though, it would be in perfect shape when I finished. The trees wound by in a hushed blur, until I spotted my golden prize.

My body froze, and I crouched down to prepare myself. I grinned as I watched the large cat lower into the same position I was in, clearly about to pounce the unsuspecting elk near the steady creek. Not a chance. I launched myself off the ground, wrapping my strong arms around my victim's wide neck, and fixed my legs sturdy to the ground. Fearful and threatening growls filled the silent forrest before I sank my teeth into the warm fur and into the hot flow of blood.

Quickly, the growls and ripping snarls faded, gurgled, and stopped. I drew my teeth back and dropped the drained body to the forrest floor. It was just what I had needed. My thirst was starting to bother me lately. But there was something new about this kind of thirst, something I couldn't place my finger on. It was something I would have to work on.

I straightened my posture and glanced down to check my appearance. Spotless.

"You've gotten better at this, Bella," someone chuckled off to the side.

I jerked my head to the left, taking a defensive couch, but fixed myself when I realized who it was. Embarrassment overtook the defense, "Hey, Jasper." Why hadn't I caught his scent? Heard him coming? I was sure he could read the confusion on my face when he smiled at me, amused.

"Sorry if I caught you off guard," he said. "I couldn't read your mood before you left, so I was a little worried."

I smiled at his concern for me, "I'm alright."

A swift breeze swept in from the trees, blowing his scent directly towards me, and I inhaled deeply. His scent carried the smell of sweet citrus and berries. My eyes refused to close with the sensation, catching one of their own. The breeze dusted his pale, golden hair across his forehead, revealing the power of his beautiful eyes. I stiffened to my new thoughts on Jasper, my eyes wide with shock at myself.

"Bella?" his voice was a song, and I suddenly felt excited to hear my voice on his lips.

"Jasper," I whispered his name, both to him and myself. My lips and tongue tingled with new pleasure on his name. I pressed my fingers to my lips, my eyes searching the ground for an answer to these new sensations. What was wrong with me? Just one minute ago I was a happily married woman, with Edwards name scripted into my unbeating heart.

I felt a sudden calm wash over me. As a human, this would have worked. Yes, my posture relaxed, but my emotions were still crashing down on me like the rough waves of a hurricane on a soft, peaceful beach. I demanded myself to fight these strange feelings, expecting to triumph. After all, I had amazing self control. But nothing. Everything hit me, relentlessly.

"What's wrong?" alarm was ringing high in Jaspers voice, but there was something else in his tone. Something that made my ears ring and shrill with pleasure. "Bella!"

Naturally, being a vampire, my instincts were always so clear. But now, there were so many of them, they clouded my mind. What was my mind - my heart - ordering me to do? Run? No, my legs were like tree stumps in the ground. My eyes retreated from the ground, and I looked back at Jasper. His blanket of calm was still coating me, and I almost felt weak.

I focused my eyes into his, finally. Then I felt it. Something that felt like silver wires wrapped around my being, and pulled me towards him. Still being too calm for control, my feet instinctively began to move. In my chest where my unmoving heart lay, was a simple flutter. It wasn't my heart, I knew that for sure. But the emotions my human heart had felt were still there. This new feeling, how had I been so stupid? How could I not recognize this feeling that was racing through me?

Lust.

But I felt a mixture of something else. Something I knew I shouldn't be feeling. Not for Jasper. Not for anyone but my husband. No, I shouldn't be feeling this way. I continued to command my feet to stop moving. But it resulted in the exact opposite. Something fell quietly onto my bare arm. The distraction was small, but needed. I looked at my arm, and blinked twice before realizing what was coming. The thunder in the piercing dark sky made it clear.

I made the mistake of looking back up at Jasper. There was a drop of rain moving slowly down the side of his face, almost making me believe that he was crying. The dead silence in my chest jumped and fluttered again. He hadn't looked at the rain, hadn't been distracted, and nor had he been oblivious to my obvious changing in mood. I expected to see anger in his eyes, maybe even disappointment. But, to my surprise, those feelings were not coloring in his beautiful eyes.

He took a step forward, and I met his movement in perfect symmetry. What was a few feet that separated us just seconds ago, was now just a few inches. And closing. What was he doing? He needed to stop me. Stop me, Jasper. I wanted to scream the words, but they stuck cold in my throat.

"Bella," again, my name felt like ecstacy against his lips. "Why are you having these feelings?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I can't stop them. Jasper . . . Stop me." The command was weak, and he knew that.

"I can't," his words were soft, matching the tenderness in the depths of his eyes. "I can't stop myself, Bella."

"No," I struggled for the words. "We can't . . . We shouldn't. We - " My breath, ragged and labored stopped short when my eyes dropped from his gaze and onto his lips. My teeth clenched, and unclenched several times as I fiercely fought back against my newest urge. No. But I couldn't stop. The strength of my new instincts were far too strong for my now weak will-power.

It happened.

I lunged for him, wrapping my strong arms around his neck and crushing my lips to his. Nothing inside me pushed me to be gentle as I shoved harder against his body. We fell to the now wet ground. Fear of rejection ran through me, but quickly stopped when his arms wrapped around my slender waist and his mouth opened to my demanding lips.

I tasted every small part of his lips as I could before his tongue pressed through my barriered mouth. My body shuddered and weakened to his taste, his rough handle on my small body. My mind was boggling for his touch, for everything. He tore his mouth from mine, and rolled us over so he was on top of me. His lips moved hungrily down my throat, my collar bone, and then to my shoulder. My body arched against his, a slow whimper escaping from my trembling lips.

"Bella," he whispered my name against my shoulder as he gently nipped against my cold skin. The pain was noticeable, but pleasurable to my ever sense. My fingernails ran along his back, finding their way under his thin shirt. I felt a rush of joy when he shuddered in response to my touch, and his lips returned to mine. One of his hands held him up, keeping him balanced above my body while the other gripped the side of my small gown and I could tell he was aching to rip it to shreds. I knew what was stopping him, but I said nothing.

His self control didn't slip; instead, my gown was now lifted above my waist to reveal everything. Suddenly, I didn't regret rushing to get dressed this morning. His free hand roamed up my waist, and down my thigh. A small moan drifted from me, and was returned with a lustful groan from Jasper. That simple noise drove me mad, and my hands ripped away from his bare back and searched for his belt buckle.

Any of the self control I'd had, was all lost in that instant.

* * *

**Hello! :)**

**Sorry if that was a bit of a cliffhanger, but I'm not stopping there. I do plan to continue this bit, just as long as everyone likes it.  
Please R&R.  
This is my very first Twilight fic.**

**Lady Loser.**


	2. Guilt

I was glad the rain had come to a stop. The river was cold on my already frozen body, but easy to ignore. My eyes glistened with satisfied lust, and new comprehension on my raging swirls of emotions. I felt invincible with Jasper, powerful even. He didn't make me feel like a housewife, a mother, or a vampire. I could only feel happiness. One form of which I've never felt before.

I felt like a little girl at the amusement park for the first time, wanting to experience every ride, every taste of everything new and sensational. I wasn't disappointed with the first hour of my experiences. I smiled to myself and plunged under water for the third time, trying to remove every inch of dirt from my body.

Even under water I could hear Jasper's beautiful laughter, "Having a little too much fun there, Bella?" he called.

I poked only the top of my head out of the water, the water revealing my eyes as I stared into his. He arched an eyebrow at me, and the water gurgled to my laughing response. Jasper grabbed me by the waist and pulled my body out of the water and pressed me to his, "Now I'm having too much fun," I breathed into his ear.

He groaned into my hair and kissed the top of my head, "I can get used to your kind of fun."

I smiled against his neck and placed gentle kisses against his fair skin, "We really shouldn't be doing this." How many times had I said this in the past hour? Ten, maybe twenty times? And how many times did Jaspers eyes fill with childish craving? His hand ran through my hair, and gripped in a rough but gentle way. I moaned in response to his touch, simple as it was.

"I shouldn't be messing with a married woman, should I?" he asked.

I pulled my head back to look into his eyes, "Something so wrong should be illegal." I bit my bottom lip and grinned at him. "But we probably should head back to the house."

He smiled, a bit grim, and nodded, "Yes, that's probably a good idea." He sounded as reluctant as I felt.

"So," I started as I pulled myself from his grasp. "Explain to me why you aren't nervous to get home?" I know I was. With Alice being able to see the future and Edwards mind reading talent, it was a wonder neither of them had caught on and followed us into the woods.

"Alice can see the future when a choice has been made," he began, helping me out of the water and to my feet. "But she can't see something that was as spontaneous as what just happened. She might know that we planned to swim in the river, but she won't see any harm in that. Edward can read my mind, but I can keep myself distracted for the majority of the time. And if I can't keep it together, Bella, I'll need your help."

My hand was moving in fast circles, twirling my gown in an attempt to dry it, "My help? What can I do?"

"Well, I was thinking that you could use your talent - your shield - to keep Edward out?" he asked.

The gown was dry now, and I slipped it over my head, "I can try. But only in emergencies. You know Edward would know something if there was nothing going on in your head for a long period of time." I laughed.

"I know," the corners of his mouth pulled up. "But it's going to be hard to keep my mind off of you today."

"Well, there's another factor that you left out, Jasper," I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Jacob and Renesmee," I grinned at his confused expression. "Those two have a strange affect on Alice's visions. Remember?"

There was a mixture of relief and disappointment on his beautiful face, and I could only guess that he was unhappy with not thinking of that conclusion first. "You're right. So she probably didn't see anything at all."

* * *

It was relatively easy to pull everything off once we got home. Jasper returned to Alice, in his same quiet mood and I trailed up the stairs towards the bedroom I shared with Edward and my daughter. I took my time, realizing that the closer I was to my husband, the faster a new, more familiar feeling, dawned over me. Guilt.

I struggled to keep my breathing steady as I neared the bedroom door. Through it, I could hear Edward singing in a hushed voice to Renesmee. Her heartbeat was steady, following her sighed breathing. She was fast asleep. A big part of me was relieved for this. The guilt was already flooding my airways, nearly closing off my throat.

Once I made it to the door, I didn't hesitate to open it. Edward would hear any steadied sigh I made. By the smile in his voice, he already knew I was coming. I hoped Jasper's scent was washed off of me when Edward got to his feet and walked towards me. Then I made I huge mistake; I looked into his eyes.

If my heart hadn't already stopped beating, it would have just now. The love in his eyes, the trust, the compassion and happiness ripped me to shreds. What had I done? How could I be so horrible to this man? The man whose loved me from the very beginning, saved my life on a daily basis, gave me a beautiful daughter, made me who I am today - how could I do this to him? I was wrong in every way possible.

Choked sobs were fighting their way up, and my eyes pricked with dry tears. Edward was not a dumb man. Looking at him, I could see the understanding. Those first emotions never left his eyes, but were now joined by concern. He knew something was wrong.

"Bella?" anguish rang like church bells in his voice. He had always told me; my pain was his pain. His arms pulled me into a tight grip. "Bella, love, please tell me what's wrong. Tell me why you're hurting."

I wound my arms around him, my hands clutching his shirt for strength as I searched for the strength to pull myself together. His compassionate mood enveloped me, blanketing me with so much guilt that it hurt to breathe. How did I, even for one second, doubt my love for this man? I rested my head into the crook of his neck and breathed in his familier scent.

"I love you, Edward," I cried into his neck. "I love you so much. Please don't ever doubt that."

His body relaxed under me, and he sighed into my hair, "I know you do, Bella. I would never doubt that." He pulled away from my body and placed a hand under my chin. With such fondness that I didn't deserve, he brought his lips to mine. For someone who claimed to have no soul, he sure was pure hearted enough to make me feel like the devil. Edward deserved better than this, better than me. His lips returned to the top of my head and rested there.

"Would you tell me what's wrong, Bella?" he asked into my hair. "I want to help you."

"Please stop," I begged him, pressing my face into his shirt. "Stop being so nice to me." I'd never known kindness had such power. It was reeking havoc over my world.

Edward sighed and tightened his grip on me, "I see, love."

I stiffened, my eyes gone huge and my heart begging to pound a hole through my chest, "What?" It took work for that one word.

"Jasper?" he asked, his tone too calm. What had he heard? I couldn't answer him. It had been hard to say one word to him, how could I offer an explanation? "I'm not angry with you, Bella. But I wish you weren't naked." His voice was half amused.

I still didn't relax. What I did with Jasper was okay? As long as I wasn't naked. Edward wasn't making any sense.

"You were bathing in the river," Edward explained. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his place to be explaining. "Jasper came along to see if you were okay, and saw you. He didn't look away either." By now, he was laughing. Laughing.

I sighed into his chest, relieved. That was a close one. "Edward?"

He looked down at me, laughter in his eyes, "Yes, love?"

"Would you like to take a shower with me?" I asked.

I didn't get an answer. Not with words, at least. Since becoming a vampire, I was hardly clumsy, and I always walked for myself. Edward never felt the need to pick me up unless it was something romantic. So tonight was one of our nights. I was suddenly thankful for our walk-in shower.

It didn't take any effort at all for Edward to lift my gown over my head, and toss it uselessly to the floor. With me still in his arms, he turned the shower onto our set temperature, then set me down. It wasn't long before he joined me, giving me perfect few of his flawless body. The water glistening in his hair and on his chest was making it hard to retain mysel to this one spot. But after my treachery, somehow, Edward seemed much more beautiful than he ever had.

No words were spoken before his lips were pressed against mine, his body crushing me to the wall. His hands explored every part of my body like he had never touched or seen it before, and I couldn't help but tremble under his touch. Jasper floated somewhere in the back of my mind, and I did my best to keep him there. I was more focused on the here and now, as my husband initiated our love making.

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**Okay, I know that was short, and almost pointless. But it isn't over yet. About two more chapters and this fic will be finished. Ideas are bouncing around and my head, so I'm finding the best one and sticking with it. So far, I think my general direction is great. I'll post the next chapter soon!**

**Oh, and something I noticed yesterday... I constantly check my Email, and I have alot of messages from ff dot net. There are alot of people who put this story in their favorites or put me on alert, and did not review. I'm not going to nag, but I am trying t pursue writing as a career, and constructive criticism and praise is very helpful. Thanks.**

**And I know some people are wondering "why Bella and Jasper"? Well, I am a die hard Bella and Edward fan. But part of being a good writer is to expand your options, and to challenge yourself. I love Edward as a character, and I don't like writing any kind of betrayal in his marriage, but it's something that caught my interest. My next story is a B/E. Promise.**

**Lady Loser.**


	3. Ecstasy and Heroine

**Sorry it took me such a long time! But I've been so caught up with being pregnant and all that good stuff. Not a good excuse, I know. But there is so much to be done! OK, so if anyone hasn't read "Hymn Of a Heart", you really should. It's great story.  
And I wish they would make a bigger fanbase for "The Host".  
How sad. Anywho, R&R.**

* * *

Shame.

I didn't need my gift to understand how Bella was feeling as she slowly made her way down the stairs. Edward walked patiently beside her, a smile plastered to his face. Bella looked up, caught sight of the anger slowly growing in my eyes, and strained a little bit. I knew what she was doing, and I could almost feel her shield cover me like a thin sheet.

I should have been thankful for the help. I've been struggling to keep my mind on other things, but now I felt free to think about everything I wanted. The one image that quickly swept over me was Bella's small, perfect body under mine. Yes, I was definitely thankful to her shield right about now. Being able to think was like a breath of fresh air.

"You feeling, okay, Jasper?" Edward's voice intruded my breath of fresh air. It frustrated me that he would notice so quickly.

"Fine," I answered. "Why?"

"You just seem tense," Edward shrugged and pulled Bella tightly to his side, then turned to face her. The adoring look in his eyes irritated me. "Bella, love, I have to make a quick run to the Auto Parts Store in town. Somethings wrong with the Volvo, and Rosalie is going to look at it tonight."

"Okay," she nodded and returned the adoring stare. Ouch. "I'll stay here with Renesmee."

"I'll hurry back," he said, flitting to the drawer next to the front windows. He pulled out a set of car keys, and back tracked to Bella. "We can take Renesmee hunting when she wakes up." He kissed Bella's cheek and left quickly.

I watched Bella carefully after I heard Edward start the car. She didn't move from the spot he left her in. Even when she was still as a statue, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I wasn't sure how I'd been able to stand being away from her for the past few hours. She looked so composed, closed off and secretive. Inside, I smiled. I know now what it looks like when Bella comes undone. There would never be something so beautiful.

It was difficult to notice, but I felt the shield release me, and Bella finally turned to look at me. He amber eyes were suddenly more indestructible as her shield. I couldn't see any emotion beyond the dull red of her pupils. I was sure she caught my confusion, read it on my face. But she did nothing to act on it.

She turned her back and walked quickly up the stairs. There was a stab in my heart for just a second before I realized what she walked away from.

"Jasper?"

I didn't even have to turn to recognize Alice's wind chime voice. I was beginning to be feel completely and utterly grateful to Bella. Alice, no doubt, would have caught onto something if she seen the way I was looking at her best friend, "Yes, Alice?" I turned around and gave her my best smile.

"Jasper, is everything alright?" she asked. "You've been very tense today."

Her eyes were warm with concern and love, something that I didn't deserve from her. She had been trying to make me happy for such a long time. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be experiencing such a strong mixture of love, lust, desire and adrenaline. Somewhere in there was a pinch of guilt. But it wasn't as strong as what I had anticipated on the way home.

"I've just been putting off hunting for too long. I'm pushing my thirst again," I sighed. It was true, but that wasn't why I'd been acting strange. Maybe my acting skills were falling down the ranks, equal to how horrible Bella was when she was still human. It took too much strength to keep a smile off my face when her name came to mind.

Alice held her hand out to me, "Let's go hunting then. I've been pushing it, too."

* * *

Our hunt wasn't long, but it was helpful. From the look on Bella's face, I was sure she was contemplating alot. She was a married woman, and a mother. Her shame was too clear, and it affected me, too. Normally I was attracted to her every mood swing. Everything about her was so joyful, and so happy. Sometimes she was blissfully unaware of how truely wonderful her aura was. Edward noticed, but he didn't over analyze anything like he usually did.

Alice and I blurred through the trees, while I searched for any sign of Edward being home. It didn't take long to hear his and Bella's laughter mingling together in their bedroom. Renesmee's shrill voice joined in. Quickly, I put my mind on auto-pilot, keeping any thought of Bella out of my head. The only way to do so was to concentrate on being completely emotionless. To help, I focused on Alice.

"Have you noticed anything different about Bella, lately?" Alice whispered. We were nearing the house, and Bella's hearing was still slightly in the newborn stage, and she could hear more than everyone else in the house. I glanced at Alice, and my brow knitted together.

"No, I haven't seen anything," I looked away, watching every detail on every tree that flew past us. "I haven't been paying much attention. What have you noticed?"

"I'm not sure if it's because of Renesmee obscuring my vision, but I keep seeing her leave," her voice began to rise near the end, trying to stay calm. It hurt me to hear her like this.

"What do you mean 'leaving'?" I asked her. A pang of guilt squashed me. I never thought about the pain it would cause the rest of our family.

"As in packing her things, leaving Edward, leaving Renesmee. . . Leaving the family," now her voice was shaking. "I can't see for how long she'll be gone, and I don't think that's a good sign. It might mean she won't come back at all. Jasper, why is she debating on this? Why would she even -"

I stopped dead in my track and yanked Alice roughly into my arms. I knew the reason, and it wasn't something I was excited to think about. I didn't even need to question her reason, but there was no limit to how much I wished I could. How could she leave everything? Edward? Renesmee? Carlisle and Esme who have adopted her to the family, Rose and Emmett and her best friend Alice? Just to be away from me.

Without even trying, Bella tore me inside out. I'd never felt like this before. It's been almost twenty four hours, and Bella has already put me through the ringer with new emotions. So much more than Alice has ever shown me. So much lust, passion, excitement and love I had for Bella, yet now a new feeling jumped into my insane river of flooded emotions; hate.

I hated her for being able to hurt me when I was supposed indestructible, when I had no heart to feel with. Sure, there was always something there for Alice. She brought joy into my life, brought me hope. But no one had brought on such a riptide of feelings the way Bella had. There was no mistaking love when one stumbled upon it.

My hand made circles on Alice's small back while she breathed deeply into my chest. I tried not to feel her rush of torment. She was confused, hurt, and broken. Alice and Bella had become so close over the years. Even before Alice talked to her, they were best friends. She had been so eager to meet her, and so angry would Edward wouldn't allow it. I sighed softly and kissed her forehead. Guilt was giving me a real kick right now.

Could I really keep betraying the one responsible for my happiness? No, I couldn't.

Suddenly, I knew why Bella was so quiet, filled with shame today. What I was feeling now was what she was feeling when she came home to her waiting husband - to her daughter. This is what she was going through earlier, and I joined her in shame. Not only was I betraying the small girl in my arms, but I was hurting my unknowing family. My brother. Edward had waited so many years to find Bella. Who was I to take that from him? Bella, being in the same state of mind, will understand what her and I both have to do now.

It's been six days sense Bella and I had spoken a word to each other. She had been keeping herself busy with Renesmee and pleasing Edward. She was more careful with her shield now. Much smarter in her ways of going about it.

"Bella?" Edward asked her just two days ago.

Bella, being busy with Renesmee and Rosalie, turned and faked a smile at her husband. I wasn't but a few feet away, and I could taste her nervousness. "Yes?"

"Is there a reason your using your shield on Jasper and Rosalie?" he asked. He tucked his hands into his pockets and leaned down to level with her, a smile on his face. I was shocked that Bella didn't break under his curious look. My own hands were trembling with her fear.

"Of course there is," Bella kissed Renesmee's cheek, and stood to face Edward. Rosalie also perked up, wondering why Bella was protecting anyone but herself. "Like you said, the Volturi will come back someday and attempt to pluck us off, one by one. And when that day comes, I would like to be prepared."

"How is this helping?" his eyes narrowed.

"Do you remember the last time they came? How I could only protect everyone if we were bunched up, not fighting, and not separated?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around Edward.

He nodded, still confused.

"Well, if I were to ever have to fight, I would like to be able to use my shield on others while I'm distracted. And I've been testing my distance," she smiled a small, seductive smile. Ah, trying to distract him with subtle seduction. Bella was becoming a great actress, much to my surprise. "I think I've been doing pretty good with it."

Edward bought it, a smile quick to brighten his face, "Really? How far can you go?" he brushed his hand through her hair. I hoped she was still using her shield, because I didn't want Edward to hint onto my jab of jealousy.

"So far, I can hold the shield on two separate people when I'm two hundred feet away. Any further than that, and it snaps," Bella frowned a little.

Edward no longer questioned her, neither did anyone else. From what I could feel of my family, everyone was satisfied for their temporary privacy. Especially Rosalie and Emmett.

"So whose going hunting today?" Carlisle asked, Esme smiling by his side.

"Where are you headed?" Emmett looked away from the television, hope written all over his face. I still didn't understand his need for angry bears. Such bitterness should have worn off by now.

"Not too far from here, there's an overpopulation of mountain lions and black bears, but I don't think there are any grizzlies, Emmett," Carlisle smiled. "There have been alot of complaints from humans. Car wrecks, people getting mauled, and animal control gets over thirty complaints a day from annoyed homeowners. Seems they have to keep their trash indoors now."

Alice chuckled.

Emmett considered for a moment, then shrugged, "I'm up for it. How about you, baby?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Why not? I'm getting a little tired of elk." Her face scrunched up.

"I think I'll go, Carlisle," Alice chimed, then laughed a little. "And Edward, too."

Apparently Edward wasn't aware of this, "I am?"

"You'll see," Alice nodded toward the staircase.

We all waited, not knowing what to expect, until Renesmee fluttered down in record time, "Daddy, take me!"

Everyone flinched. Renesmee has not been taken on a hunting trip yet. Not one like this, at least. The human blood in her was considered a high risk to us all. Letting go of our control with such a scent around could put her in danger. Renesmee's face scrunched with impatience.

"I won't get in the way," she crossed her arms and buffed her chest out. She'd been hanging around Rose and Emmett too much. "Jacob takes me all the time. Please?"

"Just say yes, Edward," Alice sighed. "It's already set. She's very determined to go."

Edward looked pained, but nodded his head, "Alright, Renesmee. But you stick by me, okay? You stay in my sight at all times."

Renesmee rolled her eyes, but agreed and jumped up into his arms, "Is mommy coming?"

"No, she has to see grandpa today," Edward explained to the small girl in his arms.

Where was the shield when you needed it? I thought of things that I should do while they went hunting, but came up with nothing. It didn't seem to matter much. My eyes were still very much golden. I had just hunted two days ago, and wasn't in need for another trip.

"Staying home, Jasper?" Esme asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay for now," I leaned against the post on the staircase. "I'll go on the next trip."

"Alright," Edward shrugged, then set gestured for Renesmee to climb onto his back. She complied and hugged his neck in a tight hold. "We'll be back in two days, at the most. Keep an eye on Bella for me."

More guilt. But Edward didn't have a chance to hear anything in my head. They were already gone. My mind was already racing with the idea of being alone with Bella. It was hard to get myself under control; I knew nothing like that was ever going to happen between us again. She has her mind set, and I was trying to do the same with myself.

Just a talk would be good for now, and I could hear her upstairs, breathing very slowly, as if to listen to anything I was going to do. She knew we were alone, and she couldn't decide on what to do with herself. If she was trying to leave, then I would have to stop her. Bella was fast, but I could catch up with her. I wanted to avoid this talk as much as she did. Neither of us like anything to be so final.

I pushed myself away from the post, an heard Bella's breathing come to a complete halt. Was she really this troubled? What we did was horrible, and it was something that neither of us would ever consider doing again, but I knew that neither of us would ever regret it. All these years, a part of us both has been wondering, curious, of what the other would be like under the masking of clothes of others' eyes.

I shook the thought away, knowing exactly what would happen if I kept up these thoughts, and quickly flitted up the stairs. She still hadn't started breathing again. She was too quiet, and if I couldn't feel her odd emotions swelling over the top, I would have guessed she fled the house through her bedroom window. I paused infront of her door, and knocked twice, though I already knew she wouldn't answer.

Wrong.

Before my hand could touch the doorknob, it was wrenched open. Bella stood infront of me her hair drenched, cascading down her glistening shoulders. I guess I didn't hear her get in the shower. All that was covering her body was the small white towel she was using to dry off, and I felt my will crumble to pieces at her bare feet.

"Bella?"

Some unknown emotion erupted from her, something that she had been bottling up for days now, and nearly brought me to my knees. Bella grabbed a handful of my shirt and brought my face down to hers. It was almost as if I'd never tasted her lips before, but mine were singing with a new blaze of fire.

I don't remember picking her up, but somehow her legs were wrapped tightly around my waist. I also don't remember who had shut the door, or when we had managed to stagger to her bed, but there were no clothes - or towels - that separated us anymore. All the while, I couldn't take my lips off of hers or stop my hands which were exploring the every curve of her body.

Skin like silk and lips that tasted like pure sweetness under mine. Not one part of me wanted to pull away. My desires were to devour every inch of the perfection that was pulling on my body like it wasn't close enough. I don't know how I managed to stay away from her for so long, and I don't think I'd evr do it again.

She is my ecstasy.

And I am her heroine.

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**Longer chapter than the rest, but I've been gone for awhile.  
The reviews were disappointing for chapter two, so I hope the ending of this chapter spiced things up.**

**:)**

**Lady Loser.**

**flowermasters - Lol. Yeah, I know she seems a little fast. But you're obviously floating in the same boat as me. Who could resist such a major temptation? Haha.**

**Clear Plastic - I have a feeling this will be a little longer than I intended for it to be. No worries. :)**

**lovesanime92 - You gave me the idea, so here it is! Jasper's POV! I could have done better. But, hey, it's 4:30am over here.**

**Twilightlove31 - I know. I kept seeing everyone make Edward and Alice have the affair, and I wanted to do something different. It' hard to make the characters keep up the charade. But it's worth it.**

**Fantastic, questioning and detailed reviews get replies. And, as you can see, I'm very open to suggestions.**


	4. The Truth

It was never supposed to happen like this.

The ring on my left hand shouldn't be burning my finger like a smoldering fire. It shouldn't be Jasper's lips devouring hungrily at the base of my neck. My legs didn't belong around his waist, and his clothes did not belong on my bedroom floor. Most of all, I should not be enjoying such a thing. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop the rush of unwelcome butterflies in my stomach. His skin shouldn't feel so inviting under my tender fingertips.

I gasped in pleasure when his teeth nipped at the crook of my neck, and shuddered at the wave of pleasure which overwhelmed me. Jasper's quiet moan was muffled, but it was loud enough to excite me even more. He lifted his face, breathing heavier than normal, and pressed his lips to mine for a brief moment. He tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth, and I whimpered in response. So wrong but so right. Knowing I didn't belong here in his arms only made me more excited to be here.

I lifted myself, proping up on my elbows and trailed my lips down the side of his neck, slowly pushing him onto his back. My lips were more than welcome to him, and he turned his head to allow me more access. My hands gripped his shoulders as I took in the wonderful taste of him. His hands traced up and down my thigh, every trail he left felt like a forrest fire on my skin. I grinned inwardly and shifted my hips just so slightly, enough to give Jasper a little jolt.

His grip on me tightened and a low groan escaped his chest. The only fabric that separated us now were his boxers, and the small towel that managed to stay tied around my body. I laughed under my breath a little and continued my slow work on him, but something stopped.

Jasper's pleasured and relaxed body stiffened under me. Something was wrong.

"Bella," his voice was demanding.

I lifted my head from his neck to meet his eyes, but he was not facing me. His sight was directed towards the small couch against the wall only a few feet away from us. I didn't need to look over to know what had upset him. Instead, I sighed and pulled myself away from him, fighting the need to stay where I was.

"Where exactly do you plan to go, Bella?" he asked. His voice was stern, unwavering.

I didn't think about hiding mine, Edward and Renesmee's suitcases before I let him in my room. It was clear what my intentions were. But I couldn't find the right words for this.

"Answer me, damnit," he growled, quickly sitting up. He tore his eyes from the other side of the room, and looked at me.

I flinched at what his stare felt like to me. He was talking down to me, looking down to me - like I was some child who was caught red handed doing something they were specifically told not to do, "We're moving out, Jasper." My voice was barely above that of a whisper.

"Why?" his teeth were clenched now. "What is this all about?"

I inhaled quickly to his harsh tone, "It's for the best, and you know that." I ripped my eyes away from his, and got off the bed to get dressed. It was obvious that this was going to be an argument, and one that I wasn't so eager for.

"How is running away for the best?" he asked, still refusing to lighten up and be gentle with me. "Don't be such a coward, Bella. If you don't want us to continue what we're doing then just say so. Don't hurt the rest of the family over your selfishness."

My eyes widened at his harsh words, and I turned to face him again, "I'm not being a coward, Jasper," I sneered at him. "I have a family. I'm married - committed - to Edward. You remember him, right? He's your brother."

Rage danced quickly into his golden eyes, and he leaped to his feet, "Shouldn't I be asking you those same question, Bella? Yes, I betrayed my brother and my wife. But you betrayed your husband and your daughter. Don't turn everything on me."

My eyes pricked where the tears would have been, and my voice hitched beyond my control, "I wasn't trying to turn the blame on you! I'm doing what I think is right for everybody. Alice is my best friend, Jasper, please understand that!" My voice was breaking simultaneously with my unmoving heart. "I love Edward. I can't keep doing this."

Jasper stared at me, seconds passing by with the twirl of mixed emotions playing out on his face, "You love Edward?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. "Bella, don't treat me like I'm stupid. I feel everything that you feel, and I know you love somebody. But that somebody isn't Edward."

My breathing stopped. I didn't know how to reply to that.

"I know what you're feeling every second of the day. And I know how hard you're fighting against falling in love with someone other than my brother. But I also know that you're failing at it miserably."

"Stop it," I pleaded through my teeth. "Please."

"I'm not going to stop," he answered with more force than his previous words. "I've known you for a long time, and I never felt anything more than friendship towards you until that day in the forest. I know you felt it, just the way that I did. There is something there, far stronger than what you have ever had with Edward."

I was trying to keep myself together under his penetrating gaze, but I'd never faced a pain like this. Every part of my body was shaking, trembling under the unbelievable force of the truth - the truth which I had been ignoring for what felt like years.

"I don't want you to run away from me," Jasper's voice was softer when he said this, making it even harder for me to stay together. But I knew it was coming. I was crumbling under his beautiful eyes.

"What else can I do, Jasper?" I asked, knowing there could be no easy way to be with him. I embraced my desire with open arms, knowing that they were so easily detected. Jasper knew exactly how much I'd been struggling away from him, but how much I truly wanted him. I wanted him in so many ways. The ring on my finger set ablaze once more. How I wished he had been the one to put it on my finger.

He began closing the distance between us. How had I come to love someone in such a short amount of time? How had any form of love surpassed the love I had for my Edward? "Tell me what you really want, Bella." He placed his hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes in search for an answer. But I didn't know how to give him one. I have no idea what it is that I truly want. My heart has been an emotional ping pong ball lately, making it had for me to focus.

Jasper is sweet, caring, but he could be a savage when he wanted to be. He could read into me, and make me feel like a whole different person. Being with him hurt almost as much as it pleased me. Though my heart hasn't moved for months, Jasper made it feel whole. Whenever I was with him, I swear I could feel my heart stuttering again.

Then there was Edward. Gentle, loving, wonderful all around guy. The father of my beautiful daughter, and my very first love. The first man who brought out the best in me, and swept me off my feet. He could charm his way into, or out of, anything. So loyal and trustworthy. But behind Edward's bright light, stood someone in the shadows.

Something I had always noticed, but never actually saw. The dim, flickering light of Jasper. Someone who was so lost, but wouldn't ask for help. And here he stood, in front of me, asking what I wanted. Inside those words, I knew what it was that he truly desired, and what his heart yearned for.

_Me_.

I looked down, looking for an answer in my carpet. It wasn't a shock when I came up empty. There were two voice in my head, one being weaker than the other. So much of me wanted to turn away and run, look for my husband and daughter. There was so much fear in that part of me. But the bigger, much louder voice, was demanding that I give in to it all and tell Jasper what I've been denying myself.

No, I can't be having this debate with myself. Lust. That was all it was between him and I, nothing more. It couldn't be more. I am a happily married mother to one. I had the family I'd always craved, everything that I had ever wanted. I sighed, and shifted my gaze from the ground and looked into his eyes, repeating to myself that I am happily married to Edward. But when my eyes met his, I melted and, for the first time sense my human days, my knees felt weak.

No. . .

_NO._

But no matter how many times I screamed at myself, the words made an assault on my lips and came out like it was the most natural thing that was ever said, "Jasper, I love you."

My hands wanted to shoot up, cover my mouth - Grab at the air and hope I could catch my words before he heard them. Anything, just not this. The words were lies. Damnit, they had to be lies. I love Edward. My husband!

"I love you, too, Bella," Jasper's words were soft, but they hit me hard in every tender spot I had. My stomach swirled, and my breathing stopped. Something that I recognized as fear left my system, leaving only this new eruption of feelings. The small, weak voice in my head was now gone. The only one that was left was screaming for me to start where Jasper and I had left off.

"But Edward," I croaked. "And Alice. What about them?"

Jasper's smile didn't fade in the least as his hand cupped the back of my neck, "We'll figure things out, Bella. If that's what you want."

"And my daughter?" I wanted him to give me an answer, something that made everything easy again.

"Do you want to be with me?" he asked.

I didn't have to search for an answer this time, "Yes."

"Then we have all the time in the world to figure it out," his thumb made small circles at the base of my hairline, sending shivers throughout my body. I shuddered under his touch, wanting to fall into him.

"I don't know how much longer we can hide this," I closed my eyes, letting my head tilt forward.

"Should we keep trying to hide it?" Jasper asked, his voice still smooth. No wonder Alice was so in love with him, if this is how he acted when they were alone. If Jasper and I didn't continue anything after today, I would never be able to look at his stern, stubborn face the same way.

"For awhile," the words came out as a pleasured sigh. My body was relaxing under his one-finger-massage.

"You like this," he said, a smile in his voice. "I've never felt you so relaxed."

"I don't remember ever being this relaxed," I sighed again. "You're very. . . Talented." God, but I wanted to collapse into him.

Jasper chuckled and kissed the top of my head, "You should get dressed. We can go on a hunt of our own."

I wanted to cry when he withdrew his hand from me, "I guess you're right." I lifted my head and groaned. "I'll meet you downstairs."

Jasper smiled at me and left the room with perfect grace, pulling the little silver strings of my heart with him. I love him, and I can finally admit that to myself. I frowned when the door shut behind him.

**What a mess.**

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**Okay, okay, I know!**

**Short chapter! But the story is coming in to a close. I can't say how many more chapters, but it shouldn't be too many more. This was just a story to test out how well I could do with writing about Twilight. I don't know about many others, but I like it so far. Jasper's personality is never truly shown throughout the Twilight Saga. So why not let us fanatics take a swipe at it?**

**:)**

**ColourPearl - Thanks so much! I fell in love with your story last night, but it wasn't letting me submit a review! My computer kept freezing because ff's stupid ads kept popping up. It was annoying. I gave up after about 10 tries. Haha. I'm not so sure what they're going to do yet. My ideas go with the flow of the story. I try to bring them to life, and sometimes their choices kinda fall into place. We'll see!**

**Jasper's My Name - I know, I seen alot of that. The whole "Edward and Alice cheating" thing seemed to be overly played out on here. So I figured twisting it around would be fun. I'm glad you like it.**

**fairyicy - I know. I tried to manipulate Jasper's personality in this a little bit. I mean, we all have to be honest, in Twilight, it never really shows what Jasper is like behind closed doors.**

**Angela-EsmeCullen - I know I know... It is a really odd story, and it took flight way too fast. But I didn't want this to be a long, drawn out thing. I wanted it to be short, just so I could test the waters. I'm a weirdo!**

**flowermasters - Rofl. I know! If I met anyone like Edward or Jasper, I'd become an obsessed stalker. Haha. The men who play them in the movie are attractive, too. I can't wait.**

**Lead69 - Right? Everyone needs to experience their wild side sometime. I mean, c'mon, Bella married and settled down with her very first boyfriend. She never had time to taste the wild life.**

**Lady Loser.**


	5. Author's Note

**_Oh no!_**

**_It's the horrible AUTHORS NOTE!_**

:)

I am sorry to say that I'm not here to give good news. So I'll just get right to the point;;

I was doing all of my work on a laptop, and something pretty bad has happened. I thought it was just Spyware, and that I would be able to get rid of it. Well, it's safe to say I was wrong. The computer all my work is saved on is now infected with a Trojan, and is deleting everything and frying the computer itself.

More bad news. . . I need to find a job and that will take up alot of my free time. Why do I need to find a job?

--- That certain laptop did not belong to me.

So now I need to come up with 600 dollars to replace it. UGH!

I am 6 months pregnant, so it's going to take even MORE time to find a job because my abilities for work are very limited. And, let's face it, no one wants to hire someone who isn't going to be very useful.

But my sister owns a desktop computer, so I can make some updates. (I'm on the desktop now) But the thing is, it's going to require alot of my patience because I already had a large amount of work typed up and saved on the laptop.

So Twisted Bliss and Breathe Again are not on hold, but the updates are going to take awhile. Please be patient with me. I will try to have an update up by tomorrow so I can buy some time. If the new chapters look rushed, I am VERY sorry. I'm very stressed about all of this.

Thanks && Sorry again.

Ladyy Loserr


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